well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.