billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.