I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it glows. i had to have it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize