i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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