Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
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the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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