I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
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Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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