a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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