my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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