he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well I just put wine in my tea
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
