Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
