let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
