he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
