i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
