that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
