PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
