You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
