I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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