We're like a lot better than the average bears
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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