I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
