I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize