Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
