we made out on top of his cat.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
my liver is dry heaving
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
