Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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