Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
