By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
