don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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