Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
so much tequila, so little girl.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
