I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
