I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
from now on my penis is your penis
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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