Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
