I wish you could order shots online.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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