omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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