I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
