If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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