There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
