I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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