No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
