Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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