physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
