And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
