dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
