i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Every concussion has its silver lining
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
