It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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