The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
