so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
then he tried to convert me to islam
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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