I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
