I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
