would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
