**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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