sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
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Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
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No...this little piggys going to the bar
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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