I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
this will be a night to untag.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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