One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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