girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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