so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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