I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
