I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
