you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
