im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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