two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
