I wannas sexs uuuuu
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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