It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
