Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
