when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
