I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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