If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
