dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
