I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This is my gift to your gina
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
