Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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