There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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