all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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