Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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