i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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