It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize