I heard we made out
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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