Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
