the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
