why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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