Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
