I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
